Holidays
Posted on 30 April 2008, 10:18 by Wriggle Pot
So I took me a holiday with me folks, me mate Zoe and her mum and dad and little brother.
Oh, it was on their farm in the country and I got to ride a sweet pony and collect eggs from the chickens, but best of all was the motorbike! Zoe’s daddy took me for the ride – I yelled “Faster Faster FASTER!” as we rode over the paddocks. I’m a true thrillseeker, me. And I went with Daddy on the quad-bike – me mummy wouldn’t take me on hers as she’s a partypooper, that mum. I called me mummy and daddy by their first names one day – I don’t know why – I’m an enigma, that’s Scout!
And I woke every morning singin’ nursery rhymes at the top of me windbags! Oh, I have me quite the repertoire – “Old McDonald”, “Twinkle Twinkle” “Baa Baa Black Sheep”, “5 Little Ducks”, “5 Little Monkeys” are some of me faves. And on the motorbike I sang me a round of “Scouty’s on the Motorbike” to the tune of “Wheels on the Bus”.
And I could boss around a little Zoe – she’s a bit like me, a bossyboots by trade and we tried to outboss each other! She was being a sillybilly and I pointed to her chest and said “Stop It!!! STOP IT!!! In the Corner!!” but she didn’t go in the corner. Her little brother was a sweet thing, though – he liked to fall asleep on me shoulder – oh I am a comfort.
DOLF!
Posted on 16 April 2008, 09:39 by Wriggle Pot
Oh I am so smart. I have a key repertoire of sentence contractions that surely flummox me folks. Me fave at the moment is “DOLF!” Me mummydaddy thought perhaps I wanted to play me some 9-hole or was expressing flupsy frustration, as in “DOH! Au contraire mamma et pappa, “DOLF” is me sweet way of saying “I want to do it myself!!!?” Like when I want to put on me own socks or shoes or me own seatbelt on the stroller.
Oh, I have the determination, me – can you see it in me peepers? And I am pressed for time, you know, hence the shortened version. Now mummydaddy know what I mean to say, I don’t ever have to spell it out for ‘em again!
No more nits!
Posted on 28 March 2008, 18:05 by Wriggle Pot
Oh, I had me a dream the other night – something was chasing me body and I cried out “No more nits! No more nits!” Me mummydaddy they were so confused about me intention, but I just wanted the chasing to stop – “Don’t want it! Don’t want it!” I cry, but me mummydaddy, they just check me blondey locks with a fine tooth comb. That mummydaddy, they need new ears.
Easter Pahtays
Posted on 24 March 2008, 17:56 by Wriggle Pot
Oh, I had such nice treats at Easter time. Do you see this cute guy? He’s me buddy Austy – he was putting the moves on me something fierce! Oh, you cannot see his hand on me bottie but it’s there let me assure you! I haven’t seen Austy in some time as his mummydaddy moved away from me hood so it was nice to play with him again.
What else? Me neighbours had themselves quite an Easter party – I think it was called “Drink a Slab Day” but I’m not sure what kind of slab it might have been? I had hoped it was a slab of choccie treats cos I could down me some of them but none was to be seen! Me and me cuz, Blake got together and made like a slab! SLAB! Oh, it’s a nice word – the slab makes me go off some, all gooey and stuff, but I think that was the intention. Me don’t think mummy drank any slab but she did make off with a few bottles of red bubbles.
And the Easter Bunny – oh lordy, he hid a bunch of pretty eggs in me garden and I got to play hide and go seek with them! It was so much fun – that Easter Bunny, he’s got some kind of ESP – he knows all about Dora and chocolatey treats – he can hop on down any time that Bunny!
I put the Miyagi in Map!
Posted on 15 March 2008, 15:12 by Wriggle Pot
Me mummy got me a big map of the world. And here I was thinking in me dreams that I was big! (in fact, I’m 92 cms tall now – mummy says it will make me a giant when I’m a super big girl – she says her and daddy are short arses, but I’ve seen me mummy’s botty and I can tell you first hand it is not short.)
Anyway, I know a few countries now – Mali, Australia, Canada, China and Russia. And Tasmania, but I call it “Nanabeaupa” as they are there on a boat! I even snuck in Greenland even though mummydaddy didn’t teach me it – they think I’m very smart but I am always up for the fluke!
Daddy tried to show me where Japan is, but it is a wee thing on the page, so instead of pointing to it I thrill everyone with me Karate Kid impression. Oh, I can wax on wax off with the best of them I’ll say!
British Wot
Posted on 4 March 2008, 18:09 by Wriggle Pot
So me mummy reckons I speak with a posho british accent. I came home from the creche one day and said “No” but apparently it came out like “Ne-ao” like the Queen telling her corgies not to weewee on the Couch. I just like the sound of it spillin’ from me waggers. Mummy says I have a plum in me mouth but I’m not sure about that. I don’t care much for the plum – me much prefer a nectarine!
Counter Scounter
Posted on 6 February 2008, 14:44 by Wriggle Pot
I make me mummy and daddy very happy these days. Mummy says I’m a regular ol’ charmer and I must admit I’m very popular with the carers at the creche. They are always wanting to cuddle me sweet form!
I kiss nice and gentle, too – one cheek, then two. It’s very European – I go all nice and continental when I kiss – I got me some nipper peeps lining up for ‘em… and mummy always begs for me kisses, but I dole them out just enough to keep her under me thumb.
But the best thing? The thing that makes me mummy and daddy clap their palms out? I can count from one to ten:
One
Two
Tee
Toor
Tie
Dees
Honey
Ai
Nan
Den!!!!!
Sometimes I go a bit lazy but and say “One. Two. Tee. Toor. Tie. EesNanaEesNanaEesNanaEesNana.”
It’s sooo easy, just like whipping up a little croquembouche! And much easier than trying to spell croquembouche!
C'est Le Chef!
Posted on 3 February 2008, 07:56 by Wriggle Pot
I vil vip erp zees filet mignon for you, non? Oh I love to cook! I love to get out me mixing bowl and stir up Dora and Boots (DadaDesh!) until they make like a Mash! Me chef’s hat does a royal job of keeping me strands under wraps, too! It was a Birthay Pressie from one of me nipper peeps.
But I am Ze Chef true! I throw me wooden spoons and Bend-a-Bakes about the place and have some kind of trantrum but I’m only foxing a bad mood – oh I have ze temperament I’ll say!
I'm the Nap!
Posted on 2 February 2008, 07:30 by Wriggle Pot
You see, I love napping soooooo much that I must put my babies down for a nap all day – There’s Teddy. And Bubby. And Nunny. And Dora. And RJ. And Lamby-Lamb. They’re my peeps. And they love to bed down on me rug, so to keep ‘em cosy some, I cover them with a face washer or whatever else I can find (me mummy’s knickers cover up Dora a real treat – but only the clean ones) and they submit to me comforting pats.
But sometimes they only nap for 5 minutes before I get them up. No sleeping on the job, me little peep buddies!
How to have a killer Pahtay 101
Posted on 27 January 2008, 13:30 by Wriggle Pot
Oh I love me a pahtay – you can be sure about that…
I celebrated me Second Birthday on Australia Day (oh, it was a hot and sultry day!). I don’t know what it means to Be Australian yet – I’m still working out how to Be a Toddler. One thing I do know a little bit about is how to throw a very great pahtay:
- First, you’ve got to have some great nipper friend numbers. They are key. A nice mix of ages helps as well. If they are a bit older they can suggest genius things like putting the slide into the pool – the younger nippers do fun stuff like smearing cake onto their faces. You’ve got to get yourself into some of that action.
- You’ve got to have yummy food and get mummy to put too much food colouring into the cupcake icing – that way you get nippers going off some. Luckily our fences are pretty soft.
- You’ve got to provide beer and sparkling for the adults. It keeps them nice and gooey and they may forget that the nippers are about so you can scoff down some beery treats.
- You’ve got to have a variety of outdoor toys. But don’t get yourself a daddy who forgets to blow up the base of your Dora Ballpit. It makes for a very silly game of watch-the-ball-pit-fall-onto-your-body. For some reason the nipper friends were more interested in doing this than playing in the sandpit. Very strange.
- Make like a nudie! Oh, after many of the guests had gone, me and me friend numbers got a nude spirit into us and ran around butt naked. Daddy put on the Beyonce and we danced and spun around and fell about on our botties. It was great, but perhaps do this inside and not on the bricks where your bottie can get the red rawness onto it.
- Last, you’ve got to have a Baby Scout (that’s me) – I throw one helluva pahtay!